


my love for you was bulletproof but youre the one who shot me

by veel



Series: rory's angsty newsies oneshots [5]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Based on a Pierce the Veil Song, Hurt Racetrack Higgins, Just maybe, One-Sided Attraction, albert is kinda mean, also im sad anxious and gay leave me alone, and i dont know why, anyway i love them, anyway stream pierce the veil please, bulletproof love to be specific, but for a good reason, but ngl it's a good distraction from my work, but spot kinda cheated on race, ever since then my writing has gone down hill, i always inflict pain and suffering onto race, i didnt make spot the bad guy nooo, im kidding i want feedback on this please, im sorry, my last happy fic was that domestic javid one, okay maybe theres a happy end, past spot conlon/racetrack higgins - Freeform, race has a one-sided crush on albert, race makes many bad decisions, ralbert, some of which he cannot recover from, the sleep deprivation is getting to my head, this is really just so i can get some emotions out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:42:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veel/pseuds/veel
Summary: in which angst ensues when albert leaves
Relationships: Albert DaSilva & Racetrack Higgins, Albert DaSilva/Racetrack Higgins, Racetrack Higgins & Albert DaSilva
Series: rory's angsty newsies oneshots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744318
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	my love for you was bulletproof but youre the one who shot me

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> anyway i hope you enjoy :)

race never wanted it to get that bad. it was never meant to get that bad. albert had said he would help him. he promised not to leave race behind. they promised to stay at each other's sides no matter what. they had been two peas in a pod, as thick as thieves. they loved each other enough to die for the other.

at least that's what race was led to believe.

_**"I breathe you in with smoke in the backyard lights."** _

_"you believe all that shit about love?" albert asked. he tossed a pebble at the ground. he and race sat on the gravel during a football game their friends dragged them to. neither cared for the sport and were only there because they were forced to be._

_race scoffed. "no, i don't. love doesn't have to be sexual and romantic. like...you love your brothers but aren't romantically or sexually attracted to them. you feel?_ _" albert nodded along to every word race had said._

_"oh worm," he replied jokingly. "but seriously, i think these dumbass teachers need to realize that platonic and familial love exists."_

_"speaking of platonic love," race started. albert looked at the blond curiously. "i want to thank you for always being there for me. you're kind of the reason i'm not dead yet because heaven knows that if i pull some of the stunts we do by myself, i would've been dead by six. you're like, 70% of my impulse control. i love you, albert." race looked down after his mini-speech. albert smiled and wrapped his arm around race's shoulders._

_"you've gotten me into so much trouble over the past eleven years of my life it's not even funny anymore. even if the shenanigans are dangerous, you know i'm not letting you go alone. it's also kinda fun, seein' you happy doin' that. i love you too, dumbass." albert said. he affectionately petted race's hair. race hummed and rested his head on albert's shoulder. albert closed his eyes and rested his head on race's._

race sat alone in his dorm room, drinking tea. he was never much of a fan of tea, he much preferred coffee, but albert had always smelled like black coffee. even thinking about it made race want to cry again. 

his roommate was out at a party with his girlfriend, ("straight people, amirite?" jack had teased.) so race was left alone at the dorm. the silence was unsettling. there was usually music blaring from underneath his roommates dorm, or the chattering of birds. that day though? complete and utter quiet.

he sighed and took a seat on the couch. he scrolled through netflix for a while, looking for something to watch. there was never really anything good on netflix for race to watch, so he exited to disney+ (because i fear for my safety i wont make race watch newsies). he bit his lip as he mindlessly scrolled through the movies. 

**_"We used to laugh until we choked into the wasted night."_ **

_"let's watch the cheetah girls!" albert yelled enthusiastically. race rolled his eyes and hit albert on the arm. albert winced and hit race back. "you're ticklish and i'm not - do you still think this is a good idea, pretty boy?" race smirked._

_"let's rock and roll, buckaroo!" race practically leapt off the couch and away from albert. he grabbed a pillow for a shield and his empty coca-cola can for a weapon. albert laughed at race, and race looked down sheepishly._

_"that's fuckin' awful; i love it." albert lunged at race, desperate to grab either the pillow or the can. he knew neither would do much good for race, so he decided to give up on that. race, however, still thought he could outrun the fastest player on the football team._

_he dropped the can accidentally in the kitchen of his parents' home, but he kept running. albert smirked and picked up the can before following race up the stairs. race slammed the door to one of his sisters' rooms and leaned against the door. his sisters, maggie and patty, were both older than him. they very much didn't like their younger brother storming into their room, so they worked together to kick him out._

_"keep this noodle dumbass out of our room if you wish to live another day," maggie said threateningly to albert. the redhead creafully took race by the arm and led him down the stairs. they were silent on the way down but the moment they got back into race's room, albert had him pinned to the floor. he tickled race's stomach, causing the blond to laugh hysterically._

_"albert-" laugh, "please, i -" another laugh, "can't breathe!" he finally wheezed before falling into another fit of uncontrollable laughter._

_"then let's watch the cheetah girls!" albert smiled._

_"fine!" race said. albert grinned triumphantly and crawled off of race. "but only the first and seconds ones, the third doens't have raven and i don't approve."_

he sighed and settled on toy story. that was one albert never liked, so race grew to love it out of spite. sure, the animation wasn't as gorgeous as the newer pixar films, but that's why race loved it. he loved it for it's imperfections. he loved it because it made him smile and laughed. he loved it because it brightened his mood, even if just a little. he loved it because even though it could be sad, it was always there.

he loved it because it reminded him of albert.

he sighed and sunk into the couch. he was swallowed by his blanket, and he gripped his mug full of tea tightly. he didn't want to run down to the laudromat to get it washed again. he huffed and stared blankly at the television screen, not being able to register the movie.

_**"It was the best time of my life, but now I sleep alone."** _

_"hey albert?" race was huddled up next to albert in the bed they were forced to share. jack and david had to share the other one, and spot had a bed all to himself. since there were only three beds, race and albert had to share._

_"hm?" albert turned around in the bed quietly. their noses touched, and race could feel albert breath on him. albert's arms were underneath the pillow. race's hand rested on top of albert's, and the dim light provided a good way to mask his light blush._

_"i can't sleep," race whispered. albert hummed in response. "tell me a bedtime story please."_

_"you're fourteen, race. aren't you a bit too old for a bedtime story?" albert teased. race frowned._

_"yeah, but i don't care. i want to hear a bedtime story." albert sighed and bit his lip, thinking. race stared into albert's chocolate brown eyes in anticipation._

_"once upon a time there lived a widowed queen. she was a poor soul, but she had a daughter. one day, she sent her daughter, her daughter's horse, and a maiden to her betrothed. she had given the daughter a magical charm to protect her from the evils of the world._

_the princess and the maid travel for a while. soon, the princess becomes thirsty. she asks her servant to bring her water, but her servant refuses. "i do not want to be your servant anymore," the maid had said. so, the princess went to fetch her water by herself. she asks the charm for advice. "alas, alas, if your mother knew, her loving heart would break in two." and so the princess went back to her horse. soon, she grows thirst again. she asks the maid to fetch her water again. i will not serve you any longer, no matter what you or your mother say." and so the princess drank from the stream again. this time, however, the charm fell off._

_the maid took advantage of the princess. she orders the princess to switch clothes with her. she threatens the princess with death if she ever says anything about it. and so the maid and the horse left the princess with the maid's nag. once at the palace, the maid poses as the princess and orders the real princess to guard the geese with a boy named conrad._

_the very next morning the goose girl addresses the horse's head over the doorway: "horse, horse, thou art dead, and all the joy in my life has fled", and the horse answers answers " alas, alas, if your mother knew, her loving heart would break in two." on the goose meadow, conrad watches the princess comb her hair and he becomes greedy to pluck couple of her golden locks. however, the goose girl sees this and says a charm: "blow wind, blow, I say, take conrad's hat away. do not let him come back today until my hair is combed today." so the wind takes his hat away, and he can't return before the goose girl has finished brushing her hair._

_conrad angrily approaches the king and declares he will not herd geese with this girl any longer because of the odd things that happen. the king tells him to do it one more time, and the next morning hides and watches. he finds everything as conrad has said. that very same evening, he asks the princess to tell him her story. but she refuses to say anything because of her oath. the king suggests that she might tell everything to the iron stove. she agrees, climbs into the stove and tells her story while the king listens from outside._

_as the king is convinced she has told the truth, he has the goose girl clad in royal clothes. he then proceeds to trick the faux princess into "choosing her own punishment". the maid had chosen imprisonment._

_after this, the king and the true princess were married, and they lived happil- oh." albert stopped abruptly as he stared at race, who snored softly. he smiled softy to himself before allowing himself to shut his eyes and fall asleep._

race's fingers grazed over the screen of his phone. he contemplated calling albert, to talk. if albert would even answer.

race didn't exactly remember what he did. maybe it was one of his drunken mistakes. maybe albert had just grown sick of him. maybe race just wasn't good enough.

race knew what he was like. he was impulsive and reckless. he was extremely naive, and tended to make mistakes. he knew this led others to dislike him. he was really trying hard to change himself to be better; to be more likeable. but it seemed everytime he did so, he lost a part of himself.

through these episodes, though, albert was always there with him. albert was always there to comfort him. albert always cared about him.

_**So darling, don't, don't wake me up, 'cause my thrill is gone** _

_"racetrack." albert grabbed race's wrist tightly. race tried to pull out of albert's grip, but was unable. "stop it," albert ordered. race stuck his tongue out and continued to struggle against albert. "stop drinking, race." he eyed the second bottle of 40% vodka in race's hand. he snatched it and let go of race. race jumped at albert, desperately grabbing at the bottle. "you'll die if you drink anymore!"_

_"give it back," race slurred. albert frowned and smashed the bottle on the ground. race shrieked and stared angrily up at albert. the music of the party blared loudly through the halls, and thankfully no other guest was able to hear them. albert grabbed race's wrist again and maneuvered them through the crowd of people. at first, race tried to pull himself away from albert, but soon gave up trying._

_they left the person's apartment in a hurry. they were soon outside in the cool spring breeze of manhattan. albert could've let go of race, but didn't in fear of him running and albert having to find him again. race grumbled and looked away from albert._

_"i already have an uber comin' to pick us up. wanna explain why you were drinkin' so heavily?" albert stared at race expectantly. race's pale blue eyes darted to the sidewalk they stood on._

_"i walked in on spot fuckin' some other boy," he explained drearily. albert's expression softened. "'pparently, 'm not good enough for 'im." race chuckled dryly. "don't expect you to understand, mr. hetero." race tried to walk away, but albert pulled him back. this caused race to trip and fall into albert. race's emotions suddenly overflowed, and he cried softly into albert's chest. albert petted his head like he used to when they were kids._

_the uber was coming closer, and albert knew what he had to do. he wrapped race's arm around his shoulder, and he put his hand under race's armpit. race let his whole weight fall against albert, and he stumbled over to the car._

_the ride was quiet. race had spent the entire time trying to keep his vomit down. albert stared out the window thoughtfully. the driver didn't dare to speak to them._

_after about ten minutes, they were back at race's dorm room. albert dragged race into his bedroom. race finally got himself released from race's grip. race, before climbing into bed, smashed his lips against albert's. albert was taken aback, and didn't kiss back. race offered a sad smile before falling asleep._

race frowned and tossed his phone against the wall in frustration. why could he not just do something right? why did he always have to mess up the best things in his life?

he groaned and turned off the t.v. before getting up. he dumped out the remainder of his tea and set his mug down. he wiped his mouth. race turned around and walked back over to the couch.

_**"In the sunset turning red behind the smoke, forever and alone."** _

_"you kissed me, racetrack!" albert yelled the minute after race stepped out of his room. albert had spent the night in race's dorm, not wanting to leave him alone. "i'm not gay!"_

_"i was drunk!" racetrack yelled, trying to ignore his pounding headache. "i wasn't in the right state of mind." he went over to one of the cabinets and pulled out a bottle of ibuprofen. he dry swallowed two pills before turning back to the boy on his couch._

_"you ever heard that 'drunk words are sober thoughts' or whatever? that applies to actions as well!" albert had a right to be angry with race, but race couldn't even remember the prior night. "i got a girl that i love a lot, and if she ever finds out-"_

_"she won't, okay!" race boomed. albert flinched. race wasn't one to get so angry and stay angry. he rarely ever spoke above a normal tone unless he was upset, and it was clear he was. "i'm sorry," he said quieter._

_"if you hadn't been drinkin' in the first pl-"_

_"get out." race's voice was meek compared to albert's. albert looked straight at race, confused. "you heard me, get out of my dorm."_

_"race-"_

_"i'm not goin' to repeat myself." race turned away from the redhead, his eyes starting to burn. albert huffed and stood up. he practically ran to the door. once out, he slammed it. race let out a breath of air and dug his face in his hands. his knees buckled, and he crashed to the ground. he let out a loud sob, wondering if he'd ever get albert back._

a knock on the dorm door interrupted race's thoughts. he sighed, thinking it was his roommate with his girlfriend. race didn't think he could handle more unholy noises emerging from under the door.

so, he naturally didn't open the door. it was his roommate's fault he forgot his key again. 

but there was another knock. race frowned and stood up, walking slowly. he grabbed the handle, and the past few weeks without albert rushed through his head. he saw the same tuft of red hair, and brown eyes stared straight at him.

"what do you w-"

race was cut off by coffee tasting lips connected with his.

**Author's Note:**

> i had to rewrite this thing so many times because it kept deleting itself before i could save it so i hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> im about to write another chapter newsies au but i cant cause i already have three chaptered fics up so-
> 
> also let me know if i should write another chapter!!


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